Baldly Forward

I miss my eyelashes. I think I miss my lashes more than I miss the hair on my head. Until 2019, I had full lashes and eyebrows. Then it seemed like they vanished overnight.

For the longest time, I’d line my eyes to give the illusion of lashes. I had never dabbled with false eyelashes— and frankly, I doubted I had the ability to apply them without looking like abstract art.

I was right.

Just like I felt I couldn’t draw a decent brow and ultimately went with microblading to save myself the trouble… I was going to need a lot of practice and help with the lashes. I researched lash implants, hoping there was some cutting-edge technology that would give me lashes that would stay put for a while. No such thing for someone with alopecia universalis.

Perception is Everything

Learning there was no magic lash procedure, I started giving false lashes a try. At first it looked strange to me, because most of the lashes sold here locally cater to the bold— not the bald. They looked more like costume lashes, and I needed to start with a natural look and graduate to something more dramatic as I acclimated myself to a lashed look again.  

I knew that the shock of having lashes was my temporary perception. When I chose microblading for my brows, I was stunned by the sudden appearance of those brows… so shocked initially that I cried my lashless eyes out most of that night!  

All I Needed Was a Cigar and a Mustache

To everyone else, my brows looked great. To me, I looked like Groucho Marx! I thought “Oh my god! I’m bald and now I’ve ruined my face.”

But it was in the light of day and a few more hours of seeing myself this way that I knew I had overreacted. I just needed time to get used to it. I love it now! I also see women without brows who look stunning! The brows make me feel comfortable but may not feel important to someone else.

Although my brow situation felt good to me, I really didn’t find wearing the lashes as fun and fulfilling. My enthusiasm to lash up fizzled for a while. But that longing to look in the mirror and see my former eyes restored from time to time was still there.

And Then My Eyes Were Opened

One night I was watching Jimmy Fallon, and he had a guest on who caught my attention. Her name is Jenna Lyons. I didn’t know who she was before then, but I probably should have. She’s a fashion maven who sat at the helm of J. Crew as creative director and president for years.

All I know is she looked so cool, confident, and beautiful.  Her interview included how she recently joined the cast of The Real Housewives of New York (RHONY). She is the first openly gay woman to be a part of the cast, so that was interesting to me.

But it was when she talked about Loveseen, her false eyelash company, that I was glued to the screen (pun intended). I saw her effortlessly apply lashes to Jimmy’s eye. She just popped it on like it was second nature, so my interest in trying again with the lashes was reactivated.

But This Next Part is What Got Me!

In telling the origin story of Loveseen, she revealed that she has no eyelashes of her own. Hearing someone who looked to me like the most fashionable and confident person share that she doesn’t have lashes was fascinating to me. I instantly felt connected to her.

It was a moment of representation that mattered greatly to me. I thought the representation part was about her being a lesbian, but to my surprise, I was doubly inspired.

Like me — she’s a lashless lesbian!!!

As childlike as this may sound, I felt that maybe I could finally find MY look and embrace myself in a new way.

After looking her up, I learned more about why she doesn’t have lashes. She has a genetic disorder called Incontinentia pigmenti (IP) that not only prevents her from growing lashes, but impacts her teeth, skin, and scalp hair. The way she’s handled having such a life-altering disorder is remarkable.

This experience left me with a renewed call to share my story. Her kind of honesty, warmth, and transparency is exactly what I needed and what Baldly Forward is about for me.

My Own Kind of Beauty

On top of feeling inspired by Jenna Lyons’ authenticity, I love her lashes! Although I’m still struggling a bit to perfect the application, I’ve been impressed by the quality of the lashes and how natural they look on me. More importantly, I feel less alone and seen… maybe even Loveseen. 😉

While I want to master eyelash application (and damn it to hell… I will), I’m also working to accept the way I look naturally. I realize now that I can do both. I can enjoy lashing up if I’m feeling it, but my bald and lashless look is its own kind of beauty.

Disclaimer: I have no affiliation with Loveseen. I am simply an impressed and inspired customer.